Title: The Princess and the Penis
Author: R J Silver
Release Date: December 2010
Publisher: Smashwords
Category: Literature/Fiction/Humor/Romance
Type: Kindle
Book Blurb:
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.
Book Excerpt:
Amalia’s father, King Norwood, loved her so much, he wanted to protect her from all life’s dangers. To keep her safe from the greatest danger of all – men – he surrounded her with three chaste companions and a special troop of guards sworn to defend her virtue. He forbade all single males over the age of twelve from approaching her. He blocked all love songs from reaching her ears, all romantic stories from passing before her eyes, and even made it a crime to discuss such matters with her.
In short, he wanted to keep her as pure as fresh snow, as innocent as a fawn, until her beauty, kindness, and purity attracted a crown prince from one of the big kingdoms. He hoped such a union would not only make her happy, but would also help his small, impoverished kingdom of Westwich survive.
By the time Amalia turned eighteen, the king’s plan seemed to have worked. Eleven princes had asked for her hand in marriage on reputation alone. The king had rejected all but one: Prince Rupert from the mighty kingdom of Arginy, who was now on his way to meet her. Everything was going perfectly – Amalia’s gilded cage had not a single scratch – until one morning she arrived for breakfast in the Great Hall, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
Favorite Scene:
“It probably wants what every other penis wants,” said the queen.
“Which is to violate you,” said Aunt Ingrid. “To pillage and ravage your young body from dusk til dawn until there’s nothing left of your honor, virtue, or, if you happen to let your hair down, your dignity.”
“That’s why we’re telling you this,” said the queen. “Despite what you said this morning about it not being evil, the penis in your bed is obviously not of this world.”
“Seeing as it’s only a penis,” said Aunt Ingrid.
“With no man attached to it,” said Aunt Leila.
“Which frankly doesn’t sound that bad,” said Aunt Ingrid. “Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing.”
Review:
So I first saw this book … looked at the title … read said title again … looked at the cover art … and decided that this was probably an odd choice for me. However, a friend had tweeted that it could be downloaded for FREE at the time. We all know that FREE downloads are irresistible no matter how many books we have collecting dust in our Kindles (figuratively speaking of course) so I clicked, purchased, and promptly forgot about the story sitting in my e-reader. *head desk* I should have read it sooner!
Luckily an author and blogger I respect hosted an appearance by RJ Silver a couple of days ago. *waves* Thanks Joan! Silver supplied a code to allow readers to download the book for FREE when I was struck with an odd sense of déjà vu. Turns out I had already downloaded both of the books, but had forgotten about them. *Bad reading obsessed blogger!* So I am here today to tell you NOT to repeat my mistake! Download and read = GOOD! Download and forget = BAD! You all following still? Great!
So The Princess and the Penis is fun, quirky, crafty, hilarious, and even spreads an underlying message from within. A bit of a twisted version of The Princess and the Pea meets The Princess and the Frog. I am a sucker for puns and Silver did a wonderful job of pulling out some stellar double entendres. Many of the taboos of sex are hinted to with snarky humor provided by the two Aunts. One thing I appreciated was that the story is written in a non-offensive manner despite the subject matter. But beyond all of the gleeful dialogue and innuendos is the message to help others. Plainly obvious was the comparison between princes: one who had it all while plundering his subjects, despite their hardships, only to maintain his lifestyle of extravagance – the other imprisoned by another’s jealousy because he was both fortunate and blessed with compassion for others.
Those with delicate sensibilities may not appreciate the beauty of the snark within the story. But humor aside, Silver has a positive message to spread and does so in a creative and entertaining way without cramming anything down the reader’s throat. That alone deserves attention. The book is inexpensive and supports a good cause. Download it and read it, or buy it and gift it to a snarky friend who appreciates such witty absurdity. You are guaranteed a laugh if nothing else. And of you don’t laugh; well … I just don’t see how that would be possible. To find out more about RJ Silver, do what I did. Stop by Joan Swan’s blog and support them both! http://bit.ly/u7wlHs And above all, enjoy the story!
(Kindle book downloaded from Smashwords)
Hi, I found your blog because it was spotlighted on Between the Covers. I have to admit that I have downloaded this book and no exactly forgotten about it, but I haven't read it either. It sits in my library and stares at me as I overlook it time and again. Seeing how we came from a similar view point (downloaded mainly because it was free) I will take your advise and read it. I really do enjoy humor and snark in my books. Thanks for the review and spurring me forward on something I will enjoy but wouldn't have read otherwise.
ReplyDeleteHi Jay!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, had RJ Silver not been on Joan Swan's blog, the book would likely still be "collecting dust" within my Kindle. He was promoting the free codes and I discovered that I had already downloaded both stories. He was asking for a review so I figured, what the heck, and read it one morning an a little over an hour. It really was a cute, snarky read. I am pretty sure lovers of snark will think so as well. Thanks so much for stopping by!
This is a post from Karen. She was having problems posting and asked if I would post this comment for her. Thanks so much for stopping by Karen! I am sorry that you had problems posting. :(
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say that I found your blog through Between the covers....and if I were to have seen this book anywhere else I would have kept walking. I do not care to read books that have a lot of sex or the like in them. But after reading your review I understand that this book is not at all like the books that I turn away from. I like that this book is spun off of two different fairy tales and that it is written with humor and is snarky. I am very glad that it is not a "dirty" sort of book. The way you wrote your review also....the words and phrases you chose really spoke to me also. They made me take this review seriously and seriously consider this book. Thank you for posting this.
Karen OConnor
ocdaboutbooks.blogspot.com
I have never heard of this author before, but now MUST read!! You know how I love my snark, Kendra!
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate that you took the time to explain that while the title may raise some brows, the subject matter is handled with taste.
Great review, and thanks for offering a new author and a book I probably wouldn't have read before your review.
Hey Lou!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I posted this review. I would have likely passed it by myself. Had I not seen the author featured on another blog I still would not have read it. But I liked his interview and I decided it would be worth my time. The story is short - you can read it within an hour or so. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. My guess is that you will enjoy the aunts the most as they excel as snark. :)