Title: The
Anti-Honeymoon
Author: Bethany
Michaels
Release Date: March 16,
2019 (ARC Version)
Published By: Entangled
Lovestruck
Category: Contemporary –
Romance – Comedy
Type: Digital –
Paperback
Blurb:
No groom? No Problem.
When her fiancé tries to turn their wedding
into a publicity stunt, Jenna ditches the nuptials—and the groom she shouldn’t
have been with in the first place—and skips straight to the honeymoon. The
getaway driver, her ex-fiancé’s former business partner, Zach, is the perfect
guy to help reshape her romantic newlywed itinerary into an anti-couple,
anti-romance, anti-honeymoon adventure for two.
They trade couples yoga for kickboxing
lessons. Five-star dining on the beach for pizza and beer at a dive bar. Forget
couples massage—Jenna’s getting that tattoo she’s always wanted, and dares Zach
to get one, too. And those naughty boudoir pics she took in place of romantic
sunset snaps? Those aren’t going in anyone’s wedding album. Not that Zach will
forget them anytime soon.
As each item on
Jenna’s anti-couples list is checked off, the anti-honeymoon with Zach feels
more and more like the real thing, and she wishes the list was just a little
bit longer...and even steamier.
By reading any further, you are stating that
you are at least 18 years of age.
If you are under the age of 18,
please exit this site.
Favorite Lines:
“You. I want you. On me,
over me, wrapped around me.” ~ Zach
He’d tackle each
challenge like he had any other in his life, through logic and planning and
data collection, followed by reasoned, measured, precise execution.” ~ Zach
Excerpt:
“What?”
“Your friends. I moved them to the back.”
She would have made an outraged noise if her lower ribs, belly, and right lung hadn’t been too compressed by the foundation garment the stylist had insisted on. It felt like a python was wrapped around her torso, squeezing her into the correct shape the designer gown demanded. She could only suck in a few short puffs of air at a time, which made outrage pretty difficult.
“I wanted to tell you myself, so you don’t get that ugly crease between your brows when you get to the altar and see Mr. and Mrs. Drakeport in the front row.” He paused. “Some Botox would take care of that crease, you know. Maybe you’ll finally agree see Dr. Sullivan when we get back from the honeymoon.”
Jenna could almost imagine him frowning at her reluctance to have needles full of muscle-paralyzing toxins poked into her face, though thanks to Dr. Sullivan, his brow was furrowless, no matter his level of frustration.
“You know how important it is to me to have Aggie and the others in front,” she said. “We talked about this. Why would you move them?”
“The photographer from City Style thought it would be better if their, uh, unusual outfits were not in the main photo. It’s a two-page spread. And the one lady is wearing a hat that, well, doesn’t really fit in.”
That “one lady” would be Aggie. “So the photographer’s wishes are more important than your fiancé’s. Is that what you’re telling me?”
Tradition be damned, Jenna jerked open the door to confront him directly.
“Is it, Elliot?”
Instead of answering, Elliot examined her, from the top of her perfectly coiffed wedding updo, down the lines of her gown, (unwrinkled, as she hadn’t been permitted to sit down since being sewn into it by the designer’s assistant), to the pointy, too-small designer heels that gave her the wobbly, halting gait of a drunk tight-rope walker, despite the weeks she’d spent practicing walking in them.
Although Elliot had turned into a groomzilla the moment he’d slid the two-karat diamond solitaire onto her finger, Jenna hadn’t cared about the details of their wedding. She’d gotten through the endless dress fittings by fantasizing about the way Elliot would look at her as soon as he saw her in it for the first time.
He’d be totally speechless. Breathless, as she started down the aisle. His eyes would go soft and he’d be unable to look away as a goofy sort of gape-mouthed wonder softened his lips, turning them upward. Then his eyes would go hot, promising a wedding night neither of them would forget. She’d feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. Loved, cherished, and desired. And she’d know that the awestruck man was her other half.
“Awestruck” wasn’t the look she got from Elliot.
His lips tightened slightly. “You should have tried harder to lose that last five pounds,” he said before returning his gaze to her face. He cocked his head. “The lipstick works.”
“Lipstick?”She closed her eyes and let out a measured breath, the only kind she could physically manage. Aggie and the others were what they were discussing, not her appearance. “This was the only thing I asked for, Elliot. You know that.”
Argued for, actually. Having her friends in the place of honor where her parents had been extremely important to her, and when she hadn’t backed down, he’d relented, kissed her on the forehead, then showed her a picture of the bouquet made from special imported something or another he’d picked out for Jenna to carry. She’d nodded along, eager to get the whole thing over with so that Elliot could relax a little and go back to being the easy-going man she loved before the wedding. As long as her friends were up front with her, she’d carry whatever bouquet he wanted.
“They’re still here at the wedding,” he said, none too thrilled. “They’re just less…obvious.”
Tucked out of the way like the second-class citizens Elliot considered them to be. He didn’t understand the satisfaction and joy she got from working with the seniors at the assisted living center and certainly didn’t understand that, to Jenna, the group of seniors was more than people she helped, more than friends. They had become her family after her parents’sudden death in a small plane crash five years earlier. They had been with her when she was grieving and had helped her heal. They’d been with her on the good days and on the ones she’d never have made it through on her own. They deserved to be in a place of honor on the biggest day of her life, not hidden in a corner like a shabby old sofa.
Jenna wasn’t backing down. Not on this.
“I don’t care what the photographer said. I want my friends moved back, Elliot, right now. Or I’m not walking down that aisle.” She wanted to cross her arms, but no, not possible in this gown.
He looked horrified. Then angry. Irate, actually.
As the wedding date had gotten closer and closer, he’d gotten more short-tempered, more obsessive about the day being perfect. Jenna had begun to wonder if throwing the perfect wedding and having it all documented in City Style was more important to Elliot than her and the life they were going to build together. But she’d chalked all those crazy thoughts up to cold feet. Now, though, that icy doubt settled low in her belly, which was a long, long way from her aching feet.
Elliot’s face softened, and Jenna instantly recognized what she called his Schmooze Face. When he was talking to potential clients at a dinner or assigning a member of his staff an unpleasant task, he turned on his considerable charm and donned that face. The schmooze face never failed him.
Elliot squeezed Jenna’s bare arms gently as he smiled down at her, all traces of annoyance well hidden. “Now, Jenna. Just calm down. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” His voice was soft and rhythmic, like he was trying to soothe a child who was throwing a temper tantrum over not getting one more cookie. “Let’s just get this done and we can talk about it later, when you’re not so worked up, okay?”
His condescending tone only made her stomach churn harder. “I’m serious, Elliot.”
He dropped his hands and the Schmooze Face. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jenna,” he said. “The wedding starts in exactly twelve minutes. There are five hundred of the city’s richest and most influential people out there. People who are clients, important to my business. My parents. Not to mention City Style. I don’t know why you’re doing this to me now.”
He turned to leave the dressing room but stopped before shutting the door. He turned, and for a split second, Jenna thought maybe he’d had a change of heart. That he’d apologize and say that of course he’d move her friends back where they belonged and could she ever forgive him?
But no.
“I’m going to send Niki back in here. Your hair needs a touch-up.”
The door shut softly behind him, and Jenna was alone.
If she had been able to sit, she would have slumped into the very cozy-looking chair in the corner. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and indulged in a frown, crease inducing or not.
Was she making too much out of this? Honestly, he was right. The people who meant most to her were there, just in different seats.
But the nagging feeling of cold, wet laundry tumbling in her belly would not go away. And this time, it wasn’t hunger pangs from pre-wedding dieting making it rumble. It was the bone-deep certainty that she was making a huge mistake.
Highlight:
Zach grabbed his shirt off the arm of the couch and took Jenna’s honeymoon itinerary out of the pocket. By the light of his phone’s flashlight, he read through all the couples’activities she’d planned. His mind began to work. Jenna wouldn’t do any of the things she’d planned. Instead, she’d sit alone in her hut, knowing other couples were enjoying the honeymoon she wasn’t. But what if she wasn’t alone?
Couples’yoga. He wasn’t sure exactly what that was, so he turned down the volume on his phone and researched it. Thank you, YouTube. And no, that wasn’t going to happen. Grinding and stretching and laying on top of one another? Uh, no. He wouldn’t make it past the first pose without Jenna feeling some very non-platonic physical reactions.
He turned off the phone, staring at the ceiling. Even if they did the couples’yoga class, would it really take her mind off of things? Wouldn’t it remind her that she wasn’t here with her other half? And some of those moves looked downright…erotic. What if they did something that was the opposite of couples’yoga?
Wait, they? As in Zach and Jenna?
Tomorrow’s schedule was clear, thanks to Marcy, so yeah, he guessed he was staying another day. Plans began to populate the spreadsheets in his brain. Thinking, organizing, planning. Jenna would love this. Or at least it might make drinking herself to sleep every night less likely, especially when he wouldn’t be here to make sure she got into bed safely, and alone.
By the time Jenna woke up, looking slightly confused and a lot sleep-mussed, sunlight was streaming through the windows, and Zach had already been to the gift shop to procure a change of clothes and a few toiletries, ordered breakfast for them, showered, shaved, and talked to the concierge about putting his plan into action. All he had to do was sell Jenna on it.
“I didn’t know what you liked for breakfast,” Zach said when Jenna emerged from the bathroom, once again swathed in the oversize robe.
“Just coffee,” she said, her voice sleep husky.
“You’re going to need your energy,” he said, setting a coffee cup in front of her. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I ordered, well, pretty much everything.”
The room service guy had cleared last night’s dinner remnants and brought in an extra table. Both were stuffed with covered dishes.
She glanced at the table then back at Zach, a half-awake grin making her eyes sparkle. “Is there anything left for the other guests?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
She got up to investigate, lifting the lids, smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.
“What are you eating?” she asked, turning back to Zach.
“I had oatmeal, two slices of toast, a banana, coffee. Same as every day.”
“You eat the same thing for breakfast every day?”
It wasn’t just the same breakfast. He basically had the same three meals each day, unless he was forced to take a client to dinner. It was just easier. No wasting time on deciding what to eat, more time for work. But he wasn’t eager to fly his freak flag for Jenna just yet.
“Usually.”
Jenna grabbed an empty plate and loaded up with something from every dish, munching on a piece of bacon as she did. It was adorable. When the plate was overflowing, she sat down and made a happy sound.
“I swear I don’t usually eat like this,” she said.
“No judgement,” Zach said, holding up his hands.
“Nice shirt,” she said, gesturing with the salt shaker before seasoning her eggs.
“GROOM” was emblazoned across Zach’s chest in swirly blue glitter letters. Not exactly his style.
“The gift shop had a limited selection. It was this, one that said ‘game over,’or one with ‘under new management.’”
“‘Game over,’ seriously?”
“The gift shop had lots of interesting honeymoon, uh, aids.”
She almost snorted her orange juice. “I don’t even want to know,” she said, holding up a hand.
“No, you really don’t. That’s why Al Gore made the internet and anonymous ordering.”
“Exactly.” She scarfed down a few more bites then wiped her mouth. “Billy and the rest of your flight staff are going to love that shirt.”
“About that.” He leaned forward, suddenly nervous. “I have a proposal.”
She tucked a wayward curl behind her right ear. “A proposal?”
Zach drummed his fingers on the table. He hadn’t been this unsure of himself since he’d pitched his very first client when he’d gone out on his own. It had been a point that was going to make or break his fledgling business. This felt just as consequential.
“Yes.”
She put down her fork. “Not the kind that requires your getting down on one knee, I hope. I’ve had enough of that for a while.”
The image of kneeling in front of Jenna, presenting her with a ring in a velvet box, popped into his head, and he quickly shook it away.
“No.”
“I’m listening.”
“I think you need some anti-honeymooning.”
“Anti?”
“Yea
“Explain, please.”
Zach pulled out the itinerary and flattened it out on the table. “You’ve got a whole list of couples’activities here. Couples’yoga, dinner on the beach—”
“I know what’s on the list,” she said quietly. “I picked out all the activities.”
“Right. And you planned to do them with Elliot. But now…well, what if you still do your list?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I feel like I just want to hole up in the room, watch a lot of home improvement shows on TV, and order room service. I don’t really want to be the only singleton amongst the newlyweds. Couples’yoga when you’re not a couple is just sweating in unnatural positions.”
“This is where the ‘anti’part comes in. We’re not going to do couples’yoga.”
She stopped chewing, took a drink of her coffee, then looked at him. “We?” she asked, finally. “So you’d be the anti-groom in this scenario?”
“Well, I thought I’d get you started on this plan. I’m free today, as it turns out. That is, unless you want me to leave.”
“No,” she said quickly. “You can stay.”
Zach thought he detected a slight flush in her cheeks. “I mean, you’re good company. If staying for another day really isn’t going to put you out—”
“It’s not.” He smiled, feeling suddenly more relaxed. “Eat up, then. And you’ll need to change. Our first ‘anti’is scheduled for about an hour from now.”
Review:
Jenna thought she was on track for the
perfect wedding and marriage, but on the day of the big event, she begins to
notice things she hadn’t paid attention to before and can’t shake the niggling
feeling that she is making a huge mistake. Satisfied that she can’t go through
with it, she high-tails it out of the church and ends up in Zach’s back seat,
thinking he is her hired car. When he reveals who he is and offers his aid in
helping her escape to her honeymoon getaway to clear her head and plan her next
move, Zach ends up tagging along and pitching her the anti-honeymoon idea.
Together, they will do everything opposite of what a newlywed couple would do.
As passion rises, Jenna can’t come up with a valid argument against indulging
in Zach for a while; especially with so much “smolder” making him irresistible.
By the time the vacation is winding down, Jenna isn’t so sure she wants to
simply part ways with Zach and head back home. But an unexpected visitor halts
any happiness and has Jenna quickly reassessing if she can even trust Zach or
not. If there is to be any chance for the two of them, she not only has to
choose love, she has to also work through her own insecurities. Given her track
record, she isn’t sure she can even depend on herself.
Zach isn’t entirely sure what made his
come to Elliott’s wedding. He doesn’t even like the guy and is suspicious of
his motivations for inviting him. When Zach realizes he’s got the woman who was
supposed to be the bride of his long-time nemesis in the back of his car, he
can’t help but gloat just a bit. Elliott has a long history of screwing people
over as Zach well knows and this unexpected turn of events serves him right.
Despite the desire to claim retribution, he refuses to use Jenna as a pawn. But
the more time he spends with her, the more he warms up to the idea of sharing
this island escape with her. Zach is all about facts and statistics. Knowing
Elliott’s habits, he deduces on his own a necessary adjustment on a pitch for a
company both he and Elliott are vying for. A hardcore workaholic, this vacation
of sorts is quite overdue for Zach, and he counts his blessings at his
fortunate turn of events. But Jenna has been through a whirlwind and when the
first inkling of suspicion surrounds Zach, she immediately lashes out. Thinking
he’s lost her for good, he tucks tail and leaves. But fate isn’t through with
Zach and Jenna and if he plays his cards right, he might be able to save their
delicate relationship in a bid for
something more permanent.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. There
were a couple of things that annoyed me, but overall, it was a fun read packed
full of humor. One thing that annoyed me is that Jenna puts herself inside a
box and allows Elliott to run her over. She is so desperate for a connection to
her parents, that she turns a blind eye to several red flags and continues on
as if everything is rosy and on track for her life. Elliott is also much worse
than originally thought and when every bit of the truth is revealed, I couldn’t
help but feel relief that Jenna had opted to walk away. However, Jenna doesn’t
possess much confidence and given her startling revelations with Elliott, she
is quick to believe the worst of Zach. While I can see why she would have felt
that way, I was also completely frustrated because their time together was the
stuff dreams are made of. There was no way to compare Elliott and Zach because
they were completely different people with just as contradictory motivations.
She should have been able to decipher at least that much. Her lack of faith in
Zack just annoyed me. Sure, things may have looked bad initially, but had she
taken a moment to consider Elliott’s motivations and asked Zach some vital
questions, she could have spared them both a bit of misery. Zach, however, has always
been content inside his bubble of statistics and figures … until he meets
Jenna. Numbers don’t lie, but neither does the passion that simmers between
them. Rather than deal with his emotions and come clean, which is a foreign
concept for him altogether, he attempts to woo Jenna with facts and lists. It
takes one heck of a large skillet to the head (not literally, of course) to
break through and allow him to see the error of his ways. His calculating may
work in business, but matters of the heart and a whole different kettle of
fish.
Despite this book dealing with some
rather serious content such as the runaway bride herself, devious motivations,
loneliness, and stunted emotions, this story went with a good amount of levity
to keep things light and entertaining. We may not all be able to identify with
Jenna as a runaway bride, but we can identify with the loss, loneliness, and
insecurity she grapples with. Likewise, for Zack and his brain for business. It
isn’t a far reach to identify with concealing one’s emotions and sticking to
what is familiar as a defense mechanism. Simply put, there is a least one part
of each of the main characters that will be relatable and relevant, helping to
solidify the connection between Zack, Jenna and reader. At least for me there
was. I also enjoyed the introduction of Zach’s family. He’s been so busy with
making his business successful and providing what he feels he should for his family
members, that he loses sight of his family’s love for him. Materialistic items
are great, but they aren’t a substitute for interacting with those who care
deeply for you. Ironically, Jenna suffers much the same difficulty. Her
situation is a bit different because her parents have passed away, but she has
created a family of her own at the assisted living facility that she works at.
Rather than cling to those who love her, blood or not, she clings to the memory
of her parents and nearly ruins her entire life in the process. I also very
much enjoyed Zach’s secretary. Marcy, of everyone, recognizes the fundamental
shift Zach experiences while with Jenna. Loathed to see him regress back into
that shell of a boss who used to just mechanically go through life successful,
yet alone, she takes action. She’s also quite skilled at keeping Zach in check
with phrases such as, “Mr. Ruiz. Always nice to speak to you after ten p.m.” In
fact, there could almost be a story for Marcy herself at some point. Almost.
One hilarious addition to this book were
the several cheesy names they gave the honeymoon suite. It’s basically a studio
apartment but with the bed as the focus. I lost count, but there was probably a
dozen or so names they came up with such as the hump hut and bang box. I found
it quite comical to see what they would come up with next and looked forward to
each clever nickname. Overall, this is a story about second chances.
Understanding that you do not have to follow the most obvious path in front of
you. That sometimes taking a drastic detour is the absolute best decision ever
to be made. That settling is never a good idea and going after what you know
will make you happy is essential. That when you find that special someone, you
need to fight with everything you have, even if the odds seem insurmountable.
And that, at the end of the day, family always has your back and best interests
at heart. For those of you who enjoy contemporary romance with some seriously
sinful sexual encounters along with two main characters who must discover
themselves before they can attain that elusive HEA, THE ANTI-HONEYMOON is guaranteed
to please.
Kindle
version provided by NetGalley/Entangled in exchange for an honest review.
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